It’s February already! The year is going by so fast and it just got started. February is one of my favorite months of the year because it’s the month of my wedding anniversary. This year makes year four of marriage for Mr. Flipping and I. Four years ago before marriage we committed to six weeks of pre-marital counseling. I must say, it was the best thing we could have ever invested in for our marriage. I can recall times leaving our appointments happy and holding hands, and other sessions walking out barely speaking to one another. It was a journey for sure, but one I feel was needed to build the strong foundation we have today, especially being a millennial married couple. One thing we both took from our time in counseling was the concept of love languages. I personally had been living my life thinking that everyone wanted to be loved and expressed love the same way I did. The education we received around love languages put the spin on our relationship that we needed to make sure each of us always felt loved.
In the spirit of Valentine's Day which is next week as well as my wedding anniversary (the day before Valentine’s Day) I want to gift my readers the gift that never stops giving...LOVE LANGUAGES! I challenge you to educate yourself on your love language. Even if you are presently single it is always good to know your language. Far too often I meet with couples who, just like I had, are trying to love their spouse with their own love language instead of how their spouse needs to be shown love. Many not knowing what their love language even is, so they have no clue how to share with others how they need to be loved. Take a look at the brief descriptions below.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
These people enjoy when you express your love for them in a sincere manner. Tell them why you love them for extra brownie points! They also enjoy encouragement and compliments. Stand clear of harsh criticism and find ways to build off of their strengths.
ACTS OF SERVICE (this one is mine!)
These people love when you do things to take some of their duties, responsibilities, and task off of them. They enjoy feeling that you have lifted a burden off of them. For extra kudos, go out of your way to do things without them asking you for help. Avoid showing signs of being lazy or creating more work for them.
RECEIVING GIFTS (this is my husband!)
These people like visual and/or material signs of love. They enjoy gifts and gestures that show they were on your mind. Items don’t always have to be expensive and surprise gifts are the best. You know, those just because I was thinking of you gifts. Want to take it up a notch? Gift them something they had been talking about but did not expect you to get. Oh, and you better not forget birthdays and anniversaries with these folks!
These people thrive off of spending undistracted time together. Giving them your full attention during time alone is a must! Even if it's going for a walk or cooking together. They just want to be in your presence. Try not to make them feel that they are not a priority by rescheduling dates or putting other obligations before your time with them.
These are your netflix and chill kind of people. They like to cuddle, hold hands, and feel the warmth of your body. They like to feel that you are accessible and enjoy reassuring touches like pats on the back, playing in their hair, massages/rubs, and other forms of intimacy. Try to avoid making them feel neglected.
Do you have an idea of what your love language could be? Be mindful that it can change over time so it’s always good to check in periodically with yourself to see what you’re in need of. Below is a free quiz, I challenge you to take it to get a better idea of what your love language is. Currently in a relationship? Then I triple dog dare you to have your partner take it as well and engage in conversation about your results. Come back here to share your results with us!